I used to love him....

Dear Diary,

I used to love him….

I met this dude when I was 16 years old… and what I loved about him he was so damn bold….

He touched me in places that never grew old…

there was something about him…

your boy had me thrown….

Made me wonder what he had in store…

Never knew what this dude was gonna bring in the door…

was it something to make me wonder…

something I could explore….

He was the only man that I truly adored…

I used to love him....

The way his lips fit perfectly with mine,

It’s almost like our love stopped at a moment in time.

His arms around me, making me feel alive,

invincible,

strong,

a love that got me high….

The way my body convulsed with ecstasy,

had me thinking along the lines of matrimony.

Oh how he stroked and stroked my cat,

had me thinking he was my perfect match.

It wasn’t only a sexual thing…

there were other little joys that he brought to me…

The small little trinkets, the shoes, the jewels,

all the things to make a girl say ooo!

I used to love him…

Sadly love became lies in the blink of an eye, and although it shouldn’t have, it took me by surprise.

How could he be the man that I despise? The one that painted pictures and made beauty with his mind…

The man that stroked me deep, and set my body on fire, the only man that I truly desired….

I used to love him….

Now I am going outta my mind…

I can’t believe he’d leave me at the drop of a dime….

Time goes and people change, but what the hell did I do to deserve this pain?

Pain so deep the tears can only flow… and to think he’s the one I loved most.

The only one I let in and he stabbed me… each blow more painful than the last…

It’s to the point I can’t breathe!

Hyperventilating… feeling like I’m going to die… heart under attack, I’m lucky to be alive….

The pain of it all is blinding me… making me see things I’d never seen… forcing me to see what I was supposed to see….

The truth behind the man that started as a mystery….

Before the babies and the negative history….

I miss the man that he was… not the man that he aspired to be.

This man didn’t give a damn about me…

I used to love him…

Loving with rose-colored glasses is hard,

I guess it’s my fault because I put him before God….

Before myself too…. That much is true… how I could be so silly, so stupid… so….

confused….

I used to love him….

Body marked up like the subway in Harlem,

Eyes bloody shot like I drank me a bottle,

Time moving on and all I feel is sorrow,

I don’t even know how I am going to make till tomorrow.

I used to love him….

What happened to the days when love was all about heart flutters, and belly butterflies? The way he kissed you, shit the way he said your name. The excitement of seeing his face or hearing his voice. What happened to sweet nothings that turned into sweet everythings? The days when we spent countless hours on the phone, sometimes talking, sometimes not. I miss the early days of love.

When did love become so complicated?

Till Next time, I'm out.

Signed,

Lovely

Today's Topic: The Ex Files

Breaking up is tough so I thought I’d bring this to the table. How do you know you’re over someone? Do you constantly compare everyone to him/her? What do you do if you still have feelings? Would you tell him/her? Would you try to work it out?

Talk to me my lovelies!