Ms. Shari

It’s been four years and I am still in pain

You not being here with me is strange

I cry everyday because I miss you

Wishing for just a brief moment I could hug and kiss you

I play your voicemails almost on the daily

Even though sometimes hearing your voice is kinda scary

Memories flood my mind as I recollect your last days

Selfishly being angry because you missed my birthday

How petty that seems in the grand scheme of things

Hindsight being 20/20, regret and misery springs

I still haven’t accepted it was time for you to get your wings

God what I’d give to see you again,

Spend time with you and be in your Zen

Your grandchildren miss you too

They keep bringing up all their memories with you

I miss you calling me to tell me about your day

Somehow the convo changing and you telling me I always gotta have my own way

It’s the Leo in me that made me bossy

I have always been a little bit saucy, maybe cocky

You scoffed it off and brought me back down

Off that high horse I seemed to be bound

Only you knew how to reign me in, in a way that said love, but girl “I ain’t playing”

Missing your bad way of swearing like “suck my ass”

Us making fun of you and you making us laugh

You left a legacy like no other

You gave me a sister and four brothers

For that I am forever grateful

Because through them I remain stable

I see a bit of you in all of us

I am sure that made you blush, so there’s a plus

From Antwain’s faces

To James’ attitude

To Aaron’s carefree living

And Anthony’s I am mad at you

Alandra ha, that’s your twin

She loses everything, but that’s how I know we’re kin

You leaving us the way you did was the hardest thing we’ve had to do

But without each other, I don’t know how we’d get through

Even beyond the grave you still have a message,

True Shari style you keep us guessing

You being gone is one of my greatest life lessons

Realizing more and more how you being my Mom was a blessing

You struggled with demons from a young age,

Yet you found the energy to love us even on your worst days

For this, you deserve all the praise

Life hasn’t always been a crystal stair,

But you made it better because you were always there

I am bawling my eyes out as I type

Trying to keep my emotions from getting too hype

That ain’t gonna happen so I’ll end it right here

As I unload my heart and soul for strangers to bare

May you Rest In Peace now and forever

I am hoping this ode to you will make me feel better!

I miss you Mama….